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Happy Christmakwanzukkah!

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By Avi Frier - FJN Publisher

In case you missed last week’s headlines in the mainstream media, there’s now a brand new holiday on the calendar: Christmukkah.

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Christmukkah came into existence this year to solve the long-standing dilemma among interfaith families as to which holiday to observe in the home. The quandary is further exacerbated this year, as Chanukah fell out on December 25. But now, with the advent of Christmukkah, no one feels left out; no one wonders whether they may have chosen the wrong holiday to celebrate; everyone is comfortable.

I am deeply concerned, however, that interracial interfaith families are being excluded. So I respectfully propose that the new holiday be renamed Christmakwanzukkah, so that all may truly feel welcome and included.

I also feel that this new joyous holiday of Christmakwanzukkah should become the model for all holidays throughout the year. Why stop with the popular winter holidays, when there are so many other dates on the calendar that exclude so many?

Next month, Muslims will celebrate their New Year, Al Hijra; around the same time the Chinese New Year will kick off the Year of the Dog. From this day forward, let these holidays be united. Let’s all join in celebrating Al Hij Rover.

February also creates some issues for multi-cultural families. This year, Muslims will celebrate Ashura on the 9th; Jews will celebrate Tu B’shevat on the 13th; and Christians will celebrate St. Valentines Day on the 14th. In the spirit of world unity and peace, let’s cast aside our differences and celebrate Tu Bashvalentines as one.

In March, Irish interfaith families are faced with an annual challenge that I believe can be easily solved. Since Purim and St. Patrick’s Day are both celebrated with equal alcoholic indulgence, it’s time we bring the two communities together for a festive St. Mordechai’s Day celebration.

Not only do April showers bring May flowers; they also bring together two of the most important days for Jews and Christians. And since most believe that the Last Supper was a Pesach Seder anyway, let’s all get together and celebrate Peaster.

The saddest time period on the Jewish calendar occurs each summer. The Three Weeks, which begin with the Fast of the Seventeenth of Tammuz, culminate with Tisha B’Av, the date on which countless tragedies have befallen our people. Next July as well, followers of Baha’i tradition will commemorate the Martyrdom of the Bab. As we unite in sadness to observe Tisha Bab, may we merit uniting in joy and celebration as well.

The fall brings many holiday conundrums for interfaith families, but look no further for the solution.

As we begin our New Year with Rosh Hashanah, the Japanese observe the Autumnal Equinox and the Muslims begin the holy period of Ramadan. Henceforth, let this holy time of year be known as Rosh Hashamadox.

Later on, as we sing and dance on Simchat Torah, Hindus and Buddhists are preparing for the festival of Diwali. May no interfaith family be left out from next year’s widespread observance of Simchawali!

And finally, who hasn’t been faced with the age-old question: Do we go Sukkah Hopping or Trick-or-Treating? No children will be left behind next October as we join together on the most joyous holiday of them all: Sukkoween (known in English as the Feast of Hollowacles).

All kidding aside, these new holidays (and the accompanying Sukkoween photo) were fabricated just for laughs, for your entertainment, and with the hope that I haven’t offended anyone of the aforementioned faiths and nationalities. I just couldn’t help but poke fun at Christmukkah, a holiday that seems to celebrate political correctness and anti-diversity.

As you’ll see from the sidebar, “The Evolution of Christmas,” the holiday of Christmas itself was established on December 25 more to grease the wheels of assimilation than for any real historical or religious significance.

The Church knew that by placing Christmas so close to Chanukah, and on the same day as widespread Pagan observances, they would have an easier time swaying Jews and other non-believers to their practices, and ultimately to their faith.

To me, the establishment of Christmukkah seems nothing more than another step toward the goal of annihilation through assimilation.

I will not use this page as a forum to express my personal feelings on the widespread Jewish acceptance of intermarriage and interfaith families. But no matter what faith (or faiths) to which your family adheres, let this and every holiday season be one in which you show pride in your own religion or nationality. If there are Jews and Christians living under your roof, let each one celebrate his or her religion in its purest possible form.

Let none of us, Jew, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, or otherwise, allow society’s melting pot to water down our rich traditions until they run together into an unrecognizable eggnog of bland observance.

Sidebar: The Evolution of Christmas

Until the seventh century, there was no date commonly accepted by Christians as the holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus. Some churches celebrated his birthday in the springtime, others on January 6 (a Christian observance known as Epiphany).

Early in the fourth century, the Roman church decreed that December 25 would henceforth be recognized as the birthday of Jesus. The Eastern churches refused to accept Christmas until 375 C.E., and the churches in Jerusalem rejected the December 25 date until the seventh century. The Puritans outlawed Christmas, and during the Cromwellian period in England, anyone celebrating Christmas was jailed for heresy. Today, there are still some Eastern Rite churches that continue to celebrate the January 6 Epiphany date.

December 25th occurs about the time of the Winter Solstice, the shortest day of the year. The shortening days were taken as a sign that the sun was getting weaker. After the Solstice, the days begin to get longer, and Pagans thought that was an indication that the Sun was now getting stronger. Thus, the Winter Solstice became the “birthday” of several mythical gods: Attis, Frey, Thor, Dionysus, Osiris, Adonis, Mithra, Tammuz, Cernunnos and so forth. It is a solar holiday, marking the time that the sun becomes apparently stronger day by day.

An interesting side point: Mithra, an ancient Persian god, was believed to have been born of a virgin mother on December 25. His birth was witnessed by shepherds and magicians (magi). He raised the dead, healed the sick, and cast out demons. He returned to heaven at the spring equinox and before doing so had a last supper with his twelve disciples (representing the 12 signs of the zodiac), eating mizd, a piece of bread marked with a cross (an almost universal symbol of the sun).

The Winter Solstice was the season of a major celebration of fertility in ancient Rome called “Saturnalia,” which celebrated the “good old days” when the god Saturn ruled a supposed “Golden Age.” There were no masters and no slaves, and everything was easy. Thus, it became a reversal-holiday, when the masters served the slaves, and a slave was chosen to temporarily rule the household. The Romans were civilized enough to not kill him afterwards, as seems to be the custom with such holidays in more primitive cultures.

They also exchanged presents, were allowed to gamble in public, and in general had a good time. It was the greatest holiday of the year.

It should come as no surprise then that the Christian Church co-opted this seasonal holiday, celebrated both by the city that once ruled the world and by Christianity’s major competitor, Mithraism. Add to that the coincidence of Chanukah occurring nearby on the 25th of Kislev, and the Church had the perfect opportunity to create a holiday that could woo converts without them feeling that they were doing anything that was all that much different than the rituals with which they had been raised.

St. John Chrysostom, Bishop of Constantinople wrote at the end of the fourth century: “On this day also the Birthday of [Jesus] was lately fixed at Rome in order that while the heathen were busy with their profane ceremonies, the Christians might perform their sacred rites undisturbed. [The Mithras] call this the Birthday of the Invincible One, but who is so invincible as the Lord? [The Romans] call it the Birthday of the Solar Disk, but [Jesus] is the Sun of Righteousness.”

In America, Christmas was generally outlawed until the end of the last century. In Boston, up to 1870, anyone missing work on Christmas Day would be fired. Factory owners customarily required employees to come to work at 5:00 a.m. on Christmas, to ensure they wouldn’t have time to go to church that day. Students who failed to go to school on December 25 were expelled.

Only the arrival of large numbers of Irish and northern European immigrants brought acceptance of Christmas in this country. Christmas did not even begin to be a legal holiday anywhere in the United States until very late in the nineteenth century, with Alabama being the first state to make it so.


Posted by Avi Frier - FJN Publisher on 12/30 at 01:00 AM • Hits: 1154



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